His name was Ralph and, just like the New Testament Barnabas, he was an encourager. In fact, he ranks in the top 2 encouragers I have ever known.
When I was 3 years old, my Dad was called to pastor Jackson Line Baptist Church. From our first Sunday there, Ralph and his wife Virgie Mae became our closest and dearest friends. Although he was a good 20 years older than my Dad, they became as close as brothers.
Ralph grew up in the church and attended every “Singing School” that was held within walking distance of his family’s small subsistence farm. He loved to sing and it was a joy to watch him serve as “song leader” in our church, leading some of his favorites like “Heavenly Sunlight” and “Love Lifted Me”. Sometimes when our pianist had to be out, Ralph encouraged me to play because he knew I was taking piano lessons. Even with all the wrong notes I played, Ralph would tell me after church how grateful he was for me and what a “fine job” I did.
Ralph had served in the Navy in World War II aboard a ship in the Pacific. He was older than most of the other sailors so they called him “Pop”. He was a faithful Christian influence during his time in the service.
By the time we knew him. Ralph ran a Kern’s Bread truck and, to my little girl delight, he often gifted us with brown and serve rolls. We enjoyed many meals at Ralph and Virgie Mae’s where we always felt at home.
As we grew into our teen years, my brothers and I were glad to have Ralph as our Youth Leader for BTU (Baptist Training Union) on Sunday nights. In his folksy way, he urged us to “study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15). That group of teenage boys and girls listened in rapt attention to Ralph’s stories and examples of how to be more like Jesus and how to better understand the Scriptures. Ralph had a way of making each of us feel special. You just felt that he “got you” and that he was always rooting for you to be your best.
I can still see Ralph standing on the church porch after Sunday morning services with his Bible tucked under his arm, greeting every person as they left church, offering some kind, thoughtful word to each one. As the pastor’s family, we were always the last to leave and Ralph and Virgie
Mae would stand talking with us in the parking lot for a long time. He loved to tease my brothers and, to this day, we often speak of this couple as the best friends we ever had.
The last time I visited Ralph he was in the Alzheimer’s unit of a local nursing home. I took our son Andrew, who was 3 at the time, with me for the visit and Ralph sang “Amazing Grace” for us. He passed away not long after that. I feel so blessed that he had been such a big part of my life and that he saw the best in me and brothers and was a constant nurturing influence on us.
Who was your “Ralph” or “Barnabas” growing up? Besides your family, who nurtured and encouraged you? Did you get a chance to thank them for what they meant to you?
Every Sunday I see some of you encouragers as you give hugs to children, compliment them on their role in worship, take care of them in the nursery, or lead children’s Sunday School. You may not realize how much these simple gestures or time spent with the children is making a difference, but it is. Your affirmation and love of the children reflects Jesus’ love for “the least of these”.
Activities like the Pen Pal Project allow us to extend this affirmation and love to children in our 1st Explorers Ministry who may not have a church family in which to be nurtured. Thank you to the 39 “Ralphs” in our midst who are participating in this project.
Thank you for allowing me to serve in a church where every person matters, no matter how small.
