Janée Angel
CBF Field Personnel, Antwerp, Belgium
“He does not ask much of us, merely a thought of Him from time to time, a little act of adoration, sometimes to ask for His grace, sometimes to offer Him your sufferings, at other times to thank Him for the graces, past and present, He has bestowed on you, in the midst of your troubles to take solace in Him as often as you can. Lift up your heart to Him during your meals and in company; the least little remembrance will always be the most pleasing to Him. One need not cry out very loudly; He is nearer to us than we think.”
—Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God
As much as a life spent serving others is a blessing, over the last year we have also felt the heavy weight of this life. As we connect with others, it involves trust and vulnerability. Relationship involves risk. And in only a moment, that can all be broken.
We have experienced partnerships that have ended in pain. We have seen many walk away from a life in Christ. And we have felt the fatigue of ministry. And in the midst of all the hurt, we are sure that the Lord has us here in this place for this time. And just when we feel like we have no more to give, we see someone decide to follow Jesus. We get to walk with people longing to learn to serve the Lord. Or we meet new ministry partners willing to risk it all to work together because we whole-heartedly believe that God has called us to work in community.
And so, to answer the question of what is saving my life right now seems relatively easy to answer. My answer is prayer and worship.
A life connected to the Lord is one that is bathed in prayer. There are moments when life seems overwhelming, and I simply breathe my prayers. I inhale the love of God and exhale the hurt and pain that I feel. I breathe until I feel God’s hand on me and the stress begins to melt away.
There are other moments that I sit with our daughters and pray through the questions of the examen. For what am I thankful today? Where did I see God at work today? And where do I still need God to intervene in my life right now? All of these questions help our daughters and me to recognize how God is actively at work in and through us.
And then I worship. As a former music teacher, I often say that music is my other language (besides English, French, Dutch and Arabic). It is the language that connects me to the throne room of heaven. And I believe that worship adds light to the atmosphere. When I am tired, worship gives me energy. When I am sad, it brings healing. And when I am joyful, it fills me with thanksgiving.
My lifeline now and always is to sit in the presence of the Father. It allows me space to come with an honest heart and a pure song and find comfort and peace in the only One who can offer the lasting kind.
Pray, Practice, Ponder
Today, practice dwelling in the presence of God in a way that feels authentic to you. Perhaps through music and worship you might spend time with God, or by identifying a “breath prayer” to carry with you through your day. Or, you can use as a guide the following examen prayer questions: What am I thankful for today? Where did I see God at work today? And where do I still need God to intervene in my life right now? Take a moment to reignite and celebrate how God is actively at work in and through your life and offer gratitude to God for this divine companionship and provision.
Pray...Give...Go.