Adrian J. Bullock
Triangle Area Campus Minister,
CBF of North Carolina
“For this reason, I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
–2 Timothy 2:6-7
During my sophomore year of high school, my social studies teacher told our class that in order to know your future, you must first know your past. In the same way, to know what is saving my life now requires me to look back at what has saved me up to this point. And when reviewing my life, the words of the late Dr. Haywood T. Gray come to mind. My life has been nothing but the “unseen hand of God” directing, navigating and propelling me to where I am today.
What has saved me?
My mother’s prayer when I was a newborn baby that could fit in the palm of her hand. I was born three months prematurely and the outcomes of my life and my mother’s life were uncertain. My oldest sister had died three years earlier during another risky birth incident. However, alone in her hospital room, my mother recalled telling God: “God, I’m giving him to you.” And ever since that day, I know that God has been with me.
My grandmother’s words of encouragement to a little six-year-old boy struggling to learn on his grade-level. At that time, I can recall being taken out of the regular classroom with all my friends and walking into a very small, dimly-lit room every week. And in this room, one-on-one with a remedial teacher, I would work to learn how to sound out words and put sentences together correctly. Each evening, I would go to my grandmother’s home after school and, as I sat at her kitchen table trying to do homework that felt too challenging for me, I told her, “Grandma, I can’t do this.” Hearing this led her to respond quickly by saying, “Don’t you ever say you can’t. You can do anything if you’re willing to work hard for it.” And then she went into her room, pulled out her Bible and taught me my first memory verse, Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
The Christian Church. From my childhood I have had a deep love for the church, begging my mother to take me there. Finally, my grandparents, and eventually my grandmother and mother combined, took on the responsibility of making sure I was involved in church life. To some, I was a bit awkward. I never wore the newest clothes or held the latest cellphone; but I had a love for things like public speaking and history. I was bullied often from elementary through high school because of my interests. In addition to this, I often avoided in my studies things like English and Spanish because I found no joy in them. Middle school was a place I dreaded going, week-after-week, because I felt I didn’t belong. However, if I could just make it to the weekend and be a part of the church community, I knew that I could go to the place where I felt generally accepted and affirmed.
Real genuine friends. I made it to college, even though I was not the best student in high school. I enjoyed my college experience because I knew that this was where I would receive the tools I needed to get where I wanted to go in life, which was to serve in ministry. My friends, while diverse in their desires of college life, for some reason always had my back. And even in times that I wanted to quit or I started questioning my calling or who I was, they always encouraged me to press on.
Real invested mentors. Whether in ministry, guidance or just a listening ear, God has sent people such as my pastor, other ministers, coaches, influential professors and advisors who wanted to see the best from me. They see in me what I often cannot see in myself, pushing me further when I feel like I’ve given it my all. They encourage me to continue to grow and mature everyday as a person. Without their investment, I am not sure where I would be today.
My wife. Even as that awkward school kid, I prayed to be able to one day marry someone with passion, the desire to build and leave a legacy and with a heart driven by their love for Almighty God. My wife, Aneika, has become my best friend in life, my listening ear and my eyes that are able to see around the blinders in life.
God. Because without God, I would not have survived to see the last 28 years of my life. It is to God to whom I owe the greatest portion of my gratitude.
The totality of what has saved my life up to this point is what is saving my life right now. One question I have been asking myself recently is, “Who has your ear?” To whom do I listen who has the ability to steer me one way or another? What is saving me right now are the people who have my ear. God-sent people who care not only about the image I share in public, but about the struggles I may deal with privately. People who can see past the title “reverend” or “pastor” and who can see me authentically as “Adrian.” People on whom I can call during my “midnight of the soul” experiences. People who care enough to tell me the truth—even in moments where I honestly don’t want to hear it. When I look back on this present time, just as I have over the last 28 years of my life, I will be able to see all of the things from which I have been saved and the good things to which I have been pushed because of the people who have my ear.
Pray, Ponder and Practice
Today, as you seek to fulfill whatever tasks have been assigned to you, I invite you to pray for God to put the right people in your life—God-sent people who bring out the best in you and want to see the spirit of God working through you. I also invite you to ponder on who currently “has your ear.” Who are the people to whom you actively listen? Are they helping to pull out the best in you, or are their words hindering you from fulfilling your God-given potential? I also invite you to practice discernment. Ask yourself if you need to make some changes in the circle of those who have influence over you.