Robert Stanley
Manager of Spiritual Health, Wellstar Spalding Medical Center, Wellstar Sylvan Grove Medical Center, Griffin, Ga.
“Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.”
—Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak
As spiritual care providers, chaplains carry so much emotional weight in silence. Our parishioners bring to us news of troubled youth, new health challenges and everyday trials and tribulations they encounter. As we journey with them through these troubling times, we assist them in carrying the weight. Their weight becomes our weight.
Additionally, if you add on the pressure of being a chaplain, providing support during times of death, how much more weight are we carrying? What happens when a spiritual care provider or chaplain has his or her own challenges to bear or his or her own griefs to process? Who will journey with the chaplain who finds himself or herself as the identified patient?
When we ourselves need a chaplain, we must recognize the urgency of the need. While we have spiritual access to the Father through prayer and meditation, there are still times when we need a more tangible source of support. But where do we turn?
The need for chaplain support became evident during the pandemic as hospital chaplains saw more deaths in a three-year period than they had seen in their entire careers as clinical care providers. In the midst of so much death, I asked myself, “What is saving your life?”
One thing that screams out to me is self-care. Self-care is so much more than making sure we eat proper meals and get the correct amount of sleep. Three areas of self-care are life-sustaining: spiritual self-care, physical self-care and emotional self-care.
Burnout is a real phenomenon that can end a spiritual care provider’s vocation if the reasons for burnout are not addressed. If we do not refill invest in our spiritual wells but continue to draw from them, we will find ourselves in a position of spiritual drought.
A connection to the Holy is what saves my life as a professional chaplain. The Holy Spirit directs me in providing care that is beneficial to my flock, and it also guides me to provide silence when needed. I could not do this work without such a connection. My discernment through the Holy Spirit also guides me in knowing when I need my own spiritual tank refilled.
I also find that attending to my physical well-being is just as lifesaving as attending to my spiritual well-being. My health is a vital part of my livelihood. When there is pain or discomfort in my body, I am not fully available to my flock. Regular exercise helps me be more present mentally and helps me maintain my physical well-being; therefore, regular visits to the gym are also what is saving my life as a spiritual care provider.
The final measure that I consider to be lifesaving is regular check-point sessions with a mental health provider. These appointments provide a soundboard for many of the critical events that I encounter and allow me a space where I can relinquish some of the emotional weight that I carry. Time to vent and process has been lifesaving for this clinical chaplain.
Pray, Practice, Ponder
This week, ponder the Parker Palmer quote at the beginning of this reflection, and consider how you care yourself in these three life-sustaining areas: spiritual wellbeing, physical wellbeing and emotional wellbeing.