Mike Liga
Hospice Chaplain, Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn.
“It can be seen that mental health is based on a certain degree of tension, the tension between what one has already achieved and what one still ought to accomplish, or the gap between what one is and what one should become.” —Victor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Through my work as a chaplain, I am increasingly aware of the tension within me. Namely, the person I was, the person I am and the person I will become.
I’ve struggled with identity for most of my life, not having had a physical, psychological or even a theological home. I grew up in the “in-between,” whether that’s growing up in two cultures (American and Filipino), or in two theological frameworks (Pentecostal and Baptist traditions). The resulting feeling has been a cycle of self-shame and an unease from never having the ability to please anyone.
As I reflect upon being in the “in-between,” I see now that it has been a gift all along. The very thing that I found shameful, has now brought me to a place of peace and wonder. The “in-between” has always been my home.
I can see now the “detours” in my life have been nourishment to my soul. By detours, perhaps I mean more of the unexpected paths of life, even within a single day—a call from a friend, a surprising affirmation from a colleague, a smile from a patient. These fillers of joy and meaningful encounters have always made me feel at home, a hospitality between destinations.
I wonder in my own life at the power of slowing down and embracing those moments of surprising detours. Seeing them not as a chore or a distraction, but as glimpses of joy and opportunities for growth. I wonder if what is saving my life is not just tolerating these detours, but simply being open and present to them. Seeing them as opportunities to see God and see myself anew, constantly learning the wonder of being with God and others.
In a busy and efficient world, particularly in the West, I wonder if what we need most is slowness and presence during the tension we sense within and outside ourselves. And perhaps we might see that tension, transience, slowness and openness as part of deep enrichment to our souls.
Prayer, Practice, Ponder
God, may we see your wonder in the tense, the transient, and the detours of our lives. Would that we would be open to them, following the leading of your Spirit into the unknown with courage and humility. Amen.