Jenny Jenkins
CBF Field Personnel in Grand Goâve, Haiti
When I think of where prayer started in my life, I realize that it has always been there— even before I was born. My first memory of prayer was the blessing at the dinner table. It was a prayer of thanksgiving. Prayer was a part of the fabric of our lives. As I grew, the most significant prayer I can remember was the prayer asking Jesus into my life and accepting His grace and forgiveness. It changed my life forever—even In ways I could not see at the time.
My belief is that prayer is meant to be a continuous conversation with God, drawing us into closer relationship with God. Oswald Chambers talks about prayer being worship and a chance to form the mind of Christ in us. But I think for most of us, it is a way to tell God what we think is best and to ask God’s blessings on our plans and wants.
What is amazing is the way God works even in our selfish motivation to pull us closer. And at some point, I started to realize the wonderful blessing in the requests that were answered “no” or “wait.” At the time, I didn’t like it, but when I looked back at the journey, I start to realize how God was bumping me into the path God had intended for me and I am then grateful God didn’t let me marry that cute guy in my first period class or give me that fancy dress. I never thought I would be grateful for what seemed like missed opportunities and failures and closed doors; but through all the answered prayers. God was furthering God’s plan for my life.
When I heard God’s call for my life in Haiti, prayer took on even more significance and importance. I have learned more from the Haitian people about really praying for daily needs, crying and reaching out to God in pain and hardship, as well as praising and thanking God. I was humbled by what I experienced and again realized that God was yet again bringing me closer and drawing me into deeper relationship. God was taking me to a place where I had to depend on and trust HIM. And that was truly the point of prayer— not to receive things or accomplish things but relating more deeply to God—to get to know HIM, to hear HIM.
And my prayer life is ever evolving and changing. This past year, I learned to ask God what my prayers should be—for whom and for what I should pray. I pray that it is a continuous conversation that never ends. It is ongoing and fluid, drawing me ever closer to God.
Pray. . .Give. . .Go.