Jessica Hearne
CBF Field Personnel in Danville, VA
It’s a typical Sunday afternoon, and people are starting to arrive for Grace and Main’s evening prayer. The kitchen is buzzing with folks pouring coffee and chit-chatting, catching up with friends after a long week. Meanwhile, in the chapel (which is actually just folding chairs set up in the living room), a small sign reminds those who are entering to “please observe silence” to allow folks to “prepare their hearts and minds for worship.” Contemplative and silent prayer have been a part of our community since we started meeting together in 2009; but the desire to quiet ourselves and listen for the voice of God often outstrips our ability to do so. In spite of the sign, some community members still need to be reminded that conversations should be taken to other parts of the house.
During the course of the prayer service, we will sing together some of our favorite hymns or spiritual songs. We will read sayings from the Communion of Saints, or the Desert Fathers, or maybe both. Then, before and after our reading of the scripture passage for the evening, we will sing a Taize chorus to help us prepare to listen for God’s voice:
“The Kingdom of God is justice and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Come, Lord, and open in us the gates of your kingdom.”
Now silence.
Or, as we say in Grace and Main, “as close as we can get.” Because it turns out that silence is not a discipline for the faint-hearted. It is in silence that we can hear the voice of God; but the things God is saying are not always easy to hear. I find myself looking for distractions to keep God at bay: blowing my nose, rereading the scripture passage, fussing with my daughter. Often, I am not alone in this: Someone else in the room will start shuffling their feet, or fishing in their pockets, and paying attention to them provides another welcome distraction for me,
But even when we don’t achieve silence, the voice of God comes through as we move into our next form of contemplation: interpreting the scripture together. Anyone in the room is welcome to share what they have heard in the silence. Usually it is a word or phrase that caught someone’s attention and is speaking to their experience, and one person’s sharing can lead to others offering insight into that word or phrase or idea. Sometimes, the connection to the day’s reading is tangential at best, as a brother or sister feels moved to testimony or confession, and God speaks to us through that person’s sharing as well. And while what is said may not be relevant to the discussion, it is always important, and so we listen.
We may not be very good at being silent but, as Thomas Merton says, “I believe that my desire to please You does in fact please You.” While our desire to listen is sometimes greater than our ability, the desire to hear God does, in fact, help us to hear God as we practice silence “as close as we can get.”
PRAY . . . GIVE . . . GO . . .