by Dr. Jeff Mathis
There's an old saying that you've probably heard before: "Hurt people hurt people."
The truthfulness of this terse statement stands as a prophetic sentinel to another certainty. That is, we fail to notice that the person who has hurt us is themselves, hurting.
When we are hurt by an insult, a slight, abuse, or neglect, we are consumed by feelings of pain. In the moments of our hurt, we frequently forget that the person that hurt us is hurting, also. It's a vicious cycle.
Even the most emotionally intelligent, mature, and spiritually sound among us cannot process this when we've received a mean-spirited email or been yelled at by a co-worker.
The hurt colors what we're experiencing and most always dictates how we will respond.
To sum up: Hurt begets hurt, which begets hurt, which begets hurt.
Jesus's ministry was rooted, built up, and strengthened in love for others. The agape love that Jesus commands his followers to embody is to be an attitude of unconditional regard for others. Regardless of what one has done to us, Jesus teaches us that our response should be an act of selfless kindness and mercy to the other.
The Sermon on the Mount serves as Jesus's treatise on agape love. The thread that weaves throughout Jesus's teachings is a love that seeks to break the cycle of hurt. Consider some of Jesus's Greatest Hits from Matthew 5-7 and notice how Jesus commands his followers to disrupt the rhythm of pain, evil, and hate that churn in our lives:
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." (Mt. 5:9)
"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you." (Mt. 5:38-42)
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." (Mt. 5:43-44)
"If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Mt. 6:14-15)
"Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get." (Mt. 7:1-2)
"In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets." (Mt. 7:12)
Need an example of what this looks like? Check out this modern-day parable that is making the rounds.
This week, in a qualifying game for the Little League World Series, a pitcher threw a ball that hit an opposing batter in the head. Falling to the ground, writhing in pain, everyone in attendance gasped and groaned as the severity of the moment began to set in.
A head injury can be deadly. The young man on the mound was visibly shaken by his errant pitch and what it could have done. Blessedly, the player's helmet received most of the blow, and the batter got up and took first base after being hit by the pitch.
Still, the pitcher was upset by what he had done. Shaking his head and wiping his eyes, the little leaguer was not okay after what had just happened.
But then, the batter the pitch had hit left first base and walked to the pitcher's mound. He put his arms around the pitcher and told him that it was okay, that all was well, and that he knew the pitcher didn't mean to throw at his head.
You can see it unfold here.
This moment, seemingly lifted out of one of Jesus's sermons, is startling because the one who was hurt took this initiative to offer reconciliation and peace. The young man who had been struck in the head by a pitch had the emotional maturity to acknowledge that the pitcher was hurting too, and then embraced him as a demonstration of empathy and kindness.
He broke the cycle of pain and proved that hurting people do not have to hurt others. Love breaks through and unravels the knotted pain we pass on to others.
In the words of Jesus, "Go and do likewise."