Mary VanRheenen
Field Associate in The Netherlands
“From the same mouth comes a blessing and a curse. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so.”
– James 3:10
Words have power, power to lift and power to destroy. As James notes, with our tongues we bless the Lord and Father, and also curse men, who are made in the likeness of God. He adds, brothers and sisters, that this ought not to be so.
A 40-something woman in our Dutch church implicitly realized that. When she walked out of her marriage, she could have defended her choice by bad-mouthing her ex-husband. However, she told me that she was not going to discuss her reasons for leaving or try to justify her choice because that would involve revealing negative things about her ex. He was still in the church, and she did not want to publicize not-so-nice things about his flaws. She refused to curse him.
Earlier, another woman came back to our Dutch church after her husband left her for another woman. She did not mind telling me all about his soap-opera-like craziness. She broadcast far and wide what kind of character he was. Then, after at least a year of therapy and prayer, she made a point of discussing the topic with me again. She confessed that she had smeared his name everywhere that she could find an audience. She realized that it was not healthy or appropriate for her to defame him.
To be clear, neither of these women wanted to cover up or deny their hurt. Neither wanted to sweep away their ex-partners’ personal responsibility for any actions those partners had done or faults those partners had not tempered. Each woman did realize the power of words to harm as well as bless. May Jesus guide us as we use this power.
“I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you, so that you may be children of your Father in Heaven...” Jesus to his followers, recorded in Matthew 5:44-45
Blessing
May we continually be blessed by Your offer
to forgive us our transgressions;
May that healing forgiveness wash through our hearts
so that we can also forgive those who transgress against us.
Bless them. As You deliver us from the temptation to curse,
bless them, too.
Amen.
Pray. Give. Go.