Taylor Edwards
Associate Pastor to Families and Faith Formation
First Baptist Church, Wilson, N.C.
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.” – John 1:5 (NLT)
“What is saving your life right now?”
This question from Barbara Brown Taylor has recurred throughout my being in the past couple of years and always makes me think. This question wasn’t a big, scary question that should cause people to be worried about me if I didn’t answer it the way they wanted.
Rather, it is a question about what is shining in my life in the midst of all the gloomy darkness. I always felt like the answers people were looking for were small little things—like checking off a to-do list, watching their kids learn how to walk or taking a walk on a warm, sunny day.
Believe me, I’ve had moments of little things that saved my life right then and there. For awhile, a chore-tracking app was saving my life because it motivated me to mop my kitchen floor and wash towels. There have also been moments when going for a walk an hour before the sun sets on a warm spring day has saved my life that day. But I have to be honest. There are more often days where it takes a little more than that to save my life.
The reassurance that my friends will pick me up when I fall apart is saving my life on my worst days. Making the time in my week to worship God in a space where I don’t have leadership responsibilities is saving my life on my worst days. Mentors who tell me hard truths and sit with me as I process them save my life on my worst days.
I’d like to think that it only takes little things to save my life every day. But in all honesty, that’s not true. Life is hard. Ministry is hard, and I have some pretty bad days where a walk at a golden hour isn’t going to be enough to save me. Some days I need to see God in bigger ways, whether that is through the comfort of a friend, an honest leader, or the presence of the Holy Spirit being made known to me.
I am thankful for the small moments of joy or motivation that save me; but some days, it takes more to save a life.
Pray, Practice, Ponder
Pray for those who need “a little more” today, who are yearning to see God in bigger, bolder ways. Ask for the Holy Spirit to intercede for them “with groanings that cannot be expressed in words” (Romans 8:26).
Pray. . .Give. . .Go.